First Impressions vs. Changes

People change. 

Do they really?

Do they, instead of changing, pretend?

“First impressions last,” goes the infamous adage. Why does it sound ever so wrong? I personally believe that this saying is to blame (well, partially) why people (more often than not) put their best foot forward.

Think about it – first days, first dates, job interviews, meeting the parents – we are too conscious of what we’ll wear, the words we’ll say, the gestures we’ll make. For a long time, I have been taught that I have to make a great first impression because it’s what people will remember me for. Problem is, I was never one for ‘first impressions’.

It makes sense, I guess, because I’m always for second chances (to the nth). I’m not good at remembering ‘firsts’. Well, my memory sucks – that’s a given – but also because I was never impressed with ‘firsts’. My first kiss was not that memorable… neither was my first boyfriend, and they’re not even the same person. Are you starting to get my drift?

The pressing issue at hand is this: I think people should stop perfecting their ‘first impressions’. Why? Because it is a pure form of DECEPTION.

Some would disagree, only because they have been so blinded by an old belief.

I personally think that people should see you for who you really are from day one. No room for hypocrisy.

Now, going back to the first ever line of this write-up: PEOPLE CHANGE. 

See, this is where it all gets a bit vague. Because of ‘first impressions’, when people DO show their natural colors, others automatically assume that they’ve changed. However, that is not the case. What if the person is really who he is NOW, not how you knew him THEN?

Maybe he was just trying to impress you; trying to win your heart. I mean, WHY NOT? He’s pursuing you. He, most probably, was raised to mind his first impression, just like most of us.

This is why most women (and men, too) often get disappointed when they have been in a relationship for quite some time. They often say that their partner ‘has changed so much.’

Is he not as sweet as he used to be? Is she not as patient as she once was? Don’t you see each other eye-to-eye like you did earlier in your relationship?

This really shouldn’t come as a surprise – as disheartening as that is.

Embrace other people for who they are and decide whether you can really live with them – no holds barred. Any progress that you agree on should be the ‘notable changes’ – and be reminded that it is a two-way street. There are always two sides to every story, especially in terms of ‘changes’.

Bottom Line: You are simply you, and they are simply them. Sometimes, it is really as simple as that.

 

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